Dear Gabe is about my five closest female, and one closest male, friends (and myself) who have had the power and privilege to name our families on our own terms. Intimate dv-footage reveals women who bend traditional ideas of race, sexuality, religion, and gender into more equitable forms while still respecting “family values.”
Telling the stories of our daily lives also tells a bigger story about how recent social changes have enabled new “kinds” of people the most radical, and yet somehow conservative set of choices. And there are consequences…
Hara and Yigal
Hara, a Rabbi, and Yigal, her Israeli husband, are the only people from our social cohort to have had children in their 20s. So, their Jewish community and family became their central support system. The couple shares most child and home duties, but still, Hara worries that having had her children early will always compromise her career.
Kim
Kim, an obstetrician, is married to, Ajenor, a Brazilian scientist. They have two daughters and live in a large home with full time, live-in help. They are still stretched to breaking. Kim is depressed and bemused by her gentle husband’s inability to completely share the burdens of their children and home. And, her very male profession is unable to adapt to the needs of female MDs.
Hali
Hali is a Family MD who lives with Margie, a midwife. They used the same donor’s sperm to conceive their daughter, Prairie, and son Isaiah. They believe that lesbians can build healthier families than straights because parenting and other roles are more flexible and debatable.
Page
Page is a District Attorney in Seattle. She recently moved in with her ten-years-younger girlfriend. She has no interest in having children since her life is currently devoted to a quest for self-knowledge and an attempt to better comprehend her life’s personal and professional goals.
Jim
Jim was the honorary man of the off-campus house shared by this group during their senior year of college. He went on to have a very successful career as an actor in the off-Broadway, Ridiculous Theatrical Company, founded by Charles Ludlum. Jim and Alex were in love throughout their 20s, and lived together for some years in a quasi-committed domestic relationship made complicated by the fact that he was gay and she was straight. Jim died of AIDS in 1991 at the age of 29 never having had the opportunity to conceive of or commence a family of his own.
Deb, Alice and Aliyah
Until recently, Deb, a social worker, lived with Alice, an attorney. They chose to adopt Aliya, an African-American girl who they are raising Jewish. The couple is now undergoing a painful “divorce” and are still resolving their joint-custody arrangement.
Cheryl
Cheryl, an African-American filmmaker, had a daughter, Simone (3), by inseminating with the sperm of the couple’s close friend, Robert, an Italian-American artist. Alex is of Jewish ancestry, and gave birth to the couple’s son, Gabriel (2), also using Robert’s sperm. Both kids call him Dada.
Alex (the filmmaker) is a media professor and maker. She was straight until 30. Following her feminist ideals, she chose to experiment with lesbianism. Eight years later, Cheryl and Alex are still together.
Telling the stories of our daily lives also tells a bigger story about how recent social changes have enabled new “kinds” of people the most radical, and yet somehow conservative set of choices. And there are consequences…
VIEW Dear Gabe at snagfilms.com
Dear Gabe: A Video-Letter from Alexandra Juhasz
50:05, 2003, mini-dv
